Its been about a month since my last post…  Sheesh. I don’t even know where to begin.

When I started this tumblr, I had just broken off my engagement and my relationship with a guy that I thought I’d be with ‘forever’…  It was hard at first to get over what had happened because it was something I initiated and wanted… Or so I thought?  I have always had an independent woman mentality when it came to my girlfriends’  relationship problems, but when I was in the hot seat, I was “that girl.”  The girl who cried and thought that my life would be nothing without him and blah blah.

Heartbreak isn’t easy, but it doesn’t mean life is over.  It means it has only begun…  Everyday is a new day.  A chance to make a change.  Take it!  This whole experience has been awesome.  I can’t thank God enough for  giving me the strength to get through it.  I’d be lying if I said, I don’t think about him sometimes.  Can ya blame me?  He was my ‘first love’ but I can say that life goes on and the only thing I can do is have faith that God knows what he is doing.  I’m living life.  I’m doing me.  I am young and I am having fun.

There are times where I really can’t help but be mad about what happened.  ”At least you realize now..” Well, if you weren’t such a kjdaskd and told me straight up, then I could have worked on myself.  #endrant

I’m fine. :)

Just had to get that out.

You know what is crazy?  I was with someone for 7 years of my life and actually thought I was ready for marriage.  I guess I was looking at our relationship in the amount of years and figured, it was time to get married…  So wrong.  God has allowed me to realize a lot of things about myself through this breakup.  I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss having a ‘lover’ in my life.  I miss coming home and skying with him, randomly being able to text him, have skype dates etc.  But when I look at the big picture, I wasn’t as ready to get married as much as I thought I was…  It’s crazy.  Guys want wifey material, and I am… but I’m not ready to be a wife yet.  I am young.  I haven’t been single for 7 years.  I am learning what it is like to be my own person and I am excited.  I am going out and having fun.  I’m not pouncing around like a ho tho.  Just enjoying this life that God has given me.  Plus, He loves me.  He has a love that no man can ever give me.  I am so blessed.